Arguing that the shift manager was “in no position to make that call,” Karl Rove was seen in a Bethesda McDonalds at approximately 10:50 A.M. refusing to accept that he could not order from the breakfast menu.

“I know there are still McGriddles back there,” said the former Deputy Chief of Staff to the George W. Bush administration. “There are hot cakes and hash browns that are still waiting to be eaten. So for you to just proclaim that breakfast is over, just like that, after only about 88% of the morning hours have elapsed, I think that’s pretty irresponsible.”

Rove argued the point for approximately twenty minutes before asking the shift manager if he could go back into the food preparation area “and just talk to someone and see if breakfast really is over.” He was denied, and begrudgingly settled for chicken McNuggets, which he ate sobbing in his car decrying what a “sad day” it was for real American breakfast.